On Being Present
Originally published 2/17/2022
Local craniosacral therapist and teacher Don Ash wrote a book called "Lessons from the Sessions," chronicling the important things that he learned about healing work from being in session with his clients. I feel as though most bodyworkers could write volumes on the same subject. Of all my learning experiences, some of my greatest teachers have been the beautiful souls who have graced my massage table.
I wish I could tell you all that I learn from just one session with a client. How freeing a feeling it is to lift the weight of one's stress from the body, simply by breathing, and talking of life experiences - or not talking at all, and embracing the magic of letting go. We hold emotions in our bodies. We hold back thoughts and feelings that we perhaps don't trust others to accept. We keep tension so locked up in our tissues that we sometimes even forget the experience that put the knots there. But the body doesn't lie. And while I quietly learn the story of your journey through what I feel in my hands, I'm also listening. I'm listening to your breathing becoming more regular, your questions as I find an area of soreness that you may or may not have realized was there, I'm listening to whatever you want to tell me. I'm not a psychotherapist, I can't offer advice or solutions, but what I can give you is my presence.
How often in your day can you say you have someone's undivided attention? I'm not checking my phone for text messages, I'm not distracted by other things in the room, I'm not mentally composing what I'm going to say when you finish speaking - for if you're speaking at all, it's not to carry on a discussion, it's to be heard. I am with you in your body's healing process, to remind you that health is a combination of body, mind, and spirit wellness. It's profound work that you're doing on the table, and I am profoundly honored that you trust me to be a part of it, even for an hour.
I wish I could tell you the stories I've heard. Stories of families, friends, struggles and triumphs, of adventures and life-changing moments in time. Everyone has a story to tell, and my job has taught me above all to be a better listener. Being present with people makes you part of the experience, rather than simply a witness to someone else's existence. Putting yourself in the moment with someone means that, for even a brief time, you're not worrying about things that haven't happened yet, or reliving something that has already become a part of your past. It means that this moment, right now, is the most important thing, and the person or people with whom you are sharing this moment, are the most important. Imagine being the most important thing to someone, right here, right now. Couldn't we all use more of that feeling?
